I am amazed at how matter of fact they are. By this, I mean they simply make tea. There is no flourish, no anticipatory movements, no fussing around, they just make a bowl of tea. If some tea spills, they clean it up. If there is a disruption to the flow, they keep going.
When their guest has drunk, they efficiently clean up and move on to the next task. This lack of pretension is what attracts my attention. When I make tea, I anticipate the next step, and because of this, whatever I am doing at the moment suffers.
I have thought about this for many hours, and not only in terms of chanoyu. In daily life, this quandary also comes up. Why does work not go smoothly; why is it hard to sound a high E, or to play a simple blues riff, why, why, why.
On occasion, without warning I begin and end chanoyu without much contemplation. This is dumbfounding. Somehow, my mind let it happen without informing me. It is as if I was given an amnestic drug at the beginning, so I cannot go back and evaluate the process. I have to accept that what is done is done, never to be repeated.
Still it is odd to have the subconscious take over, after all aren’t I supposed to be in charge!
In D.T. Suzuki’s Zen Buddhism, there is an interminable discussion of “no mind” or “no thought”. The circular dialog between teacher and student goes on for pages. It reminds me of Abbott and Costello’s “Who’s on First?” comedy routine.
Suzuki’s essays were written between 1949 and 1955. I first read them during my senior year of high school. The book cost $1.95 back then, which should give a clue as to the year I first encountered it. I have returned to these pages many times. I know this because the pages are marked with asterisks, underlines, and boxes surrounding particularly confusing phrases.
It is maddening not to have intuited what is obviously an important question for me: how do I simply let go and be. There is a sense of urgency as I stand up, and start walking towards my library to search for another book in hope that it has the answer. Halfway to the bookcase, I turn back; my intellect is not going to help.
The gyotei sensei’s seamless tea may be the best answer to the question. And, at least for me, continuing to heat water to make a bowl of tea may be the best solution.
May 2020
